Bullsh*t equals 103% Effort? Check this…

I got sent a mail from someone with this in it and found it very clever:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%

But ,

A-T  -T -I -T  -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B -U  -L  -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bulls*&t and A$s kissing that will put you over the top.

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5 responses to “Bullsh*t equals 103% Effort? Check this…”

  1. James Mason says:
    April 9, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Pretty good….maybe thats what BH has been tryin to tell me all along..but I’ve never been to good at butt kissin, guess I’m doomed huh?

  2. Colin Klinkert says:
    April 12, 2009 at 7:56 am

    James, I don’t butt kiss well either… Could go the other route too, rich jerk style. Be rude to everyone and then get followers because people find it funny 😉

    I think that there is a happy medium though and being yourself should be more then enough! Thanks mate for reading my post

  3. Leah says:
    April 16, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    That must be from main stream Corporate America – it’s been hanging around water coolers for years.

    Do you know why telling a clean joke will always be hilariously funny?

    (Answer: No one has ever heard it before!)

  4. Colin Klinkert says:
    April 17, 2009 at 12:39 am

    LoL, Leah, thats very funny and quite true i guess

  5. Peter says:
    April 27, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Here is one of my favorite management jokes. It’s the first one that starts off with…”A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.”

    http://www2.bc.edu/~radinr/Management_Humor/jokes.htm

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